The 7 Excuses preventing you from being successful
Have you ever said any of the following? How often do you say them? What do you have to believe to say them?
I am not good enough.
Reality: There are people not as smart, talented or experienced as you who got started and are already ahead of you.
The problem is not that you are not good enough, it's that you think you are not good enough. This is one of the most common limiting beliefs we hold. Understanding that this is a belief that does not empower you and does not benefit you in the long run is the first step in removing it. Your beliefs shape your potential. Your potential determines your actions. Your actions determine your results. Your results shape your beliefs.
It is important to note that the potential we tap, the actions we undertake and the results we get, are all part of a dynamic process that begins with a belief.
Let's say that you believe you are not good at something (studying, maths, long-term memory, etc.) How much of your potential do you think you are going to tap? It's not going to be very much as you have already signaled your brain to expect failure or mediocre results. With this in mind, what actions do you think you would take? Will you be confident, energized, congruent and assertive? Will they reflect your true potential?
Not likely. If you are convinced you are going to fail, why make the effort to try hard? So you’ve started with a belief system that stresses what you can’t do, a system that subsequently signals your nervous system to respond in a certain way. You’ve tapped a limited amount of your potential. You’ve taken half-hearted , tentative actions.
What sort of results come out of all this? Chances are they’ll be pretty dismal. What will these dismal results do to your beliefs about subsequent endeavors? They will reinforce the negative beliefs that started the whole chain in the first place.
Ignore or even better destroy such limiting beliefs and take small steps forward and gradually the actions will turn into results surpassing your expectations. Once you have accumulated enough results, your brain will no longer believe that you are not good as the results speak louder.
I don't have the time.
Reality: Success doesn’t come from having time. It comes from making time.
We all have 24 hours in a day and we make time for the things we want. In the core of this excuse would be another limiting belief that's actually preventing you from prioritising this and finding the time for it. Sometimes we like to pretend we are very busy for things that we say we want but in reality we are just afraid that we may fail while trying to achieve the 'thing', or that we won't be good enough for it if we do achieve it.
If you find yourself to be giving this excuse often, I would suggest asking "What am I afraid of?" because more often than not, it's a fear or contradictory beliefs that are the root cause, not the actual time. To address any of these excuses you need to exercise self-honesty and face your fears. Most often, this happens when we are so dissatisfied with our conditions we can no longer live them and we feel immediate pain if we continue.
I don't have the money.
Reality: You don’t need money to make money. You need a mission. Then deliver value to those who have the money.
This is one of the easiest excuses we often make and for most challenges the problem really is not having a clear and attractive 'why' for the challenge we face. Having a strong reason to do something is completing 90% of the hard work, the other 10% are the strategy, or the 'how' you would achieve it. Being determined and persistent in your desire to reach a goal comes primarily from you being pulled towards that goal. Making it appealing and understanding how would it make you feel are an important part of that.
I don't know the right people.
Reality: You can change who you know and who knows you today. Start by being the kind of person you would want to know.
This is a major life hack but by actually acting like the people who you want to attract and understanding them will move you closer to that environment. This is not to encourage you to be a phoney but rather to better understand the people and their beliefs (about life, success, work, time, relationships, etc.) who you would like to know. There is a reason why you do not know them already and why these people are not in your current circle.
It's not the right time.
Reality: There is always a right action in good times and bad times, which means it is always the right time.
The right time is always now. It is up to you what the right action is but hoping things will get better is just wishful thinking. Things rarely get better by themselves. We make things better by investing time, energy, love or whatever else is required. Typical of the victim mentality is the view that things happen to us and we have to wait for them. A more empowering view of the World is one where we are responsible for our conditions and our actions dictate our results and surrounding environment. Life doesn't happen to us, it happens for us.
It's not that easy.
Reality: Yes that's true but nothing easy is worth celebrating.
This is why most people never try, and they never reach their most desired goals or their full potential. But you are not most people. If you are here and you are reading this you already know that diamonds are created under large pressure and weight. Be a diamond.
The struggle is what makes us better and more resilient in times of difficulty. Knowing that we have overcome a major obstacle, that we were challenged and faced the difficulty is the evidence we need to know our strength and build lasting self-confidence. Have you not noticed that the most confident people are the ones who have been "through a lot"? There is a reason for that.
How we live life and how fulfilled and happy we are is directly related to the 80:20 rule - 80% of it is our mindset and our frame of mind and 20% is what we actually do. From the right frame of mind what we have to do is often obvious and comes naturally. People often say that 80% of success is the psychology and the mindset to win and one major element of that psychology is seeing problems or issues as challenges which in turn translate in opportunities for growth and development. Remove the word 'problems' from your dictionary and if needed replace it with 'challenges' or even 'opportunities'.
I don't deserve it.
Reality: Success isn’t earned by those who deserve most, but those who serve most.
This is another popular limiting belief which is most often transferred to us from an external source. A family member, a friend, a partner can often influence our thinking of ourselves and we can fall in the trap of believing we are undeserving and not good enough to feel / experience something. They are transferring their limiting beliefs on us. Dig deep into the origins and the period in which you started believing this and you will soon notice it is baseless and incorrect.
Two of the classic symptoms of the Impostor Syndrome are the inability to internalise your own accomplishments and feeling like a fraud, likely as a result of the feeling of guilt. If you attribute your success to luck or merely being at the right place at the right time you are likely downplaying your own greatness. Address this by focusing on your positive aspects and make a list of your strengths and qualities. Revisit peak moments in your career or personal life when you enjoyed great success and how they came about. Change places with your boss and speak from their perspective on why they hired you.
Why is it important to address these now?
Beliefs are like a garden. Without attention and care it starts growing weeds. Where do your beliefs come from? Do you choose your beliefs carefully or do you go around like a piece of flypaper picking up whichever belief sticks? How many of your beliefs have you adopted from society, TV, friends or family members and how many come from your personal references?
Success doesn't go to those who have the most ambition, but those who have the least excuses. Excuses are the brake pedals in life, and you can’t get going if the brakes are on. Start by replacing every excuse with an action.
Think: What do I have to believe to give this excuse?
While self-reflecting ask yourself: Does this belief empower me and it does it help me grow and be better to my closest?
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